life is a little crazy right now. july is jam packed with activities and appointments. i tend to try to do too much when the weather warms up around here. this year's winter was so cold i guess i have a really bad case of cabin fever. i can't seem to keep us in the house for very long and kingston is quite willing to join in the adventure. we completed our whole 30 challenge on july 5th which also kept us very busy grocery shop, prepping and cooking more than we usually do. however, the extra energy that i have gained from the process has me on the move. i promised keith we would slow down a little in august. spend some time at home relaxing and get our house in order before our big trip in september.
these photos were taken on mother's day. someone insisted on controlling the camera remote and had a blast snapping away. i on the other hand felt worn. last year was full of transitions i went back to work, we watched our baby turn into a toddler and at the end of the year we had a failed pregnancy. keith and i were in shock that we conceived on our own and to be honest a little mentally unprepared. i was extremely tired during the 10 weeks and just did not have a good feeling about the pregnancy. we received the sad news at an ultra sound, unfortunately kingston was with us. the poor tech began to cry when i finally said i couldn't see anything, meaning the heart beat. the pain was overwhelming, but i didn't want to upset kingston. we quietly wept while waiting for the doctor and distracted kingston from our sadness. he was excited because we were going to pick out our christmas tree after the appointment. we had watched charlie brown's christmas the night before for the first time with him and he was really feeling the holiday spirt for a two year old. good thing we have this little guy to love. it helps fill in that huge hole of loss that you feel.
earlier that year i had visited my doctor, because i was not feeling well mentally or physically. i was tired, moody, super stressed, my stomach hurt all the time, my skin was dry, i couldn't stop scratching my head and i was gaining weight. among other issues. at the time i thought it might all be due to kingston still not sleeping through the night and hormones since i was still nursing. my doctor ran blood work and the office said they would call if anything was wrong. i never heard from them.
recently i started seeing an acupuncturist. they make you fill out a book about yourself, every ache and pain, what you eat and drink and what an average day is like for you all in detail. after speaking with her in our first visit she almost immediately asked about my thyroid. i had read about thyroid issues in the past, but always dismissed it since i feel like i am constantly getting blood work and no other doctor has ever mentioned a problem. AND it's like the first thing you check when a women has fertility issues. So... of course my previous doctors have checked it out. right?. regardless the acupuncturist pushed for me to get my number from last year. turns out no one from my doctors office wanted to share that number we me. i finally demanded to know what the number was and like the acupuncturist thought it was well over the scale. i am so disappointed in my current primary and in myself for not following up, suffering in silence thinking this is all about becoming a new parent. without boring you with too many details lets move on to the bright side. my acupuncturists rocks, because if it wasn't for her i would still think i was just born a total bitch, suffering from early alzheimer's and just awful at making babies. i also found a kick ass endocrinologist who is going to help me get my thyroid into shape and working at the optimal conception rate. i have started medication and i'm already feel better.
lesson learned: ask questions and get details about what test results mean even if they are telling you everything is normal. google can teach you about almost everything. when in doubt get a second opinion.
xo, beth-ann
